Such Sweet Sorrow
by Kari
Summary: The event that George Lucas wouldn't allow to happen . . .


Such Sweet Sorrow 

By Kari Raines @ TrekGirl2000@netscape.net 

Visit my new Star Wars website: 

The jEdI gRrLz Getaway: http://members.xoom.com/JadeSabre/starwars.html 

Hello, people! Sorry I haven't posted any new fics in the last few days--my weekends are *extremely* busy. (I work 23 hours Fri-Sun and stay out late Sat night.) Sunday evening is usually the only free-time I have. 

Dedications: Theed, this one's for you, girl. Thanks for your criticism, insight, and support. I believe you are an excellent writer, and at such a young age! When I was fifteen I wasn't half the writer you are. This is also for all other readers out there who have been kind enough to review my work. Thank you for taking the time. ;-) 

Disclaimer: Everything associated to Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilm Ltd. I'm making no money off this. I'm simply an obsessive fan with an overactive imagination. 

Author's note: This story was inspired by an interview with Pernilla August (Shmi Skywalker) that I read in an issue of "Star Wars Insider." In this interview, she said that she and Liam Neeson asked George Lucas if their characters could kiss each other goodbye. Well, he said no, that it was not "that kind of movie." (Phooey!) Well, the romantic in me could not pass up the opportunity. Because after all, *grins* George Lucas doesn't have a say in the fanfiction realm, does he? Well, here it is--the kiss that never happened . . . 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Annie, bedtime!" she called for the hundredth time. She frowned when her son did not reply. He and Qui-Gon Jinn had been sitting outside since well before the suns had set. They spoke of everything from the life of a Jedi to the next day's podrace. 

Secretly, it aggravated Shmi Skywalker. If Qui-Gon did not plan on taking Anakin with him, then he certainly should not be planting fanciful ideas of being a Jedi into his fragile, young mind. And then there was the podrace . . .. she was far from happy with the idea, but she also knew there was no other way. 

Which was why Anakin needed to be in bed--so that he would have plenty of rest for the Boonta Eve Race. "Annie, I'm not going to tell you again," she called through the open entrance of their home. She could see the two of them sitting together on the railing. 

With a little coaxing from the Jedi, her son hopped down from his perch on the railing, and ran past her. She was about to follow him when she heard voices from the direction Annie had come from. She could see Qui-Gon, his large arms folded about his chest, speaking into some sort of comlink. 

As Shmi drifted closer, she could hear the voice on the other end say, "The readings are off the chart--over 20,000. Even Master Yoda doesn't have a midichlorian count that high." 

"No Jedi has," Qui-Gon responded thoughtfully as he gazed out over distant sand dunes of Tatooine. 

"What does that mean?" the voice over the comlink asked--the voice of a young man. 

Qui-Gon paused for only a second. What did it mean, exactly? "I'm not sure," he finally admitted as he signed off. Then, as his gaze moved up, he noticed Shmi watching him. 

She met his gaze evenly for a split second, challenging him to tell her why they had been discussing her son. But just as suddenly, her boldness was gone. She looked away, ashamed that she had been caught eavesdropping as she turned to go tuck Anakin into bed. 

She found him already in bed, covers pulled up to his chin. He smiled up at her as she kneeled down to give him a goodnight kiss. 

"Mom?" he asked as she tenderly brushed his hair away from his forehead. "I know you're scared about the race, but I'll be fine. I know I will." 

She smiled at her son's attempt to reassure her. "Of course you will, Anakin." 

Her son looked up at her, his face sombering. "But there's something else that's bothering you, too." 

She gazed at her son, wondering how much she should tell him. She believed in her heart that Annie would soon be gone. She'd known from the moment of his birth that he was destined for something greater, and she was fairly sure that that greater destiny had arrived. 

And it had come in the form of a Jedi. 

Shmi wanted this for Anakin, more than anything. But the thought of him being separated from her . . . it was not something she was ready to face. She touched his face. "I'm just scared of . . . losing you, Annie. But I want you to be happy." 

The boy didn't quite understand, but he decided to leave it at that. "Goodnight, Mom," he said. 

She leaned over to kiss him one more time. "Sweet dreams, son." Anakin was asleep before she left the room. 

She found Qui-Gon waiting in the living room. He was gazing through the window, large arms crossed behind his back. She couldn't help but admire him. He was a very handsome man. 

As if sensing her thoughts, he turned around, gracing her with a warm smile. "I trust he was cooperative?" he asked, as if he were her son's father. 

She smiled. "Surprisingly so. He's excited about the race." At the dark look that crossed her face, he knew that she was not as excited. He crossed the room, placing a strong, comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"If there were any other way . . . " 

Shmi waved away his apology. "I know, but there is no other way. But thank you anyway." 

He nodded once. Together, they sat down on the worn couch, either unsure of what to say. She wanted to ask him about the discussion she eavesdropped in on. Sensing her thoughts, he broke the silence with an explanation. 

"There is something you must know," he began. "There is an ancient Jedi prophecy of one who will bring balance to the Force. It was prophesized that this Chosen One will have no father, because he is conceived by the midichlorians of a virgin mother." 

He searched her dark eyes, waiting for a reaction. She stared at the wall, her mind racing. "And you believe that Anakin--" 

"I believe," he corrected her, "that it could possibly be Anakin. All the evidence is there. Shmi . . . all Annie's life, you've noticed something special about him." 

She nodded. "Yes, I've always known he was destined for something greater. I can feel it every time I look at him." She paused, her face becoming thoughtful. "It's almost like something tangible . . . something telling me he's not like most children." 

He nodded as he watched her. That was all he needed to know. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

Shmi sat alone as she waited for Qui-Gon to return home with her son. As she waited, she pondered the day's events. Anakin had been victorious in the podrace, as both he and Qui-Gon had assured her he would be. In her heart, she knew that he would be. It was, after all, his destiny. Which meant that she would have to say goodbye soon. The thought wrenched painfully at her heart. But she felt it undeniably near--pressing. "Soon," it was saying to her. "Soon, he will be gone." 

"Mom, we sold the pod!" Anakin's voice brought her back to reality as he rushed excitedly through the entrance to their home, the towering Jedi Master behind him. "Look at all the money we have!" Annie shouted happily, running to her and dropping two handfuls of credits into her hands. 

"Oh my goodness, why, that's so wonderful, Annie!" She stared in startlement at the amount of money Anakin had given her. Who would have paid so much for that pod? 

"Annie has been freed," Qui-Gon said softly from behind, the smile on his face evident in his voice. Both Shmi and Anakin looked up at the Jedi, unable to speak for the pure joy and awe that rushed through their hearts, leaving them breathless. 

"What??" Anakin asked when he finally regained the ability to speak. 

"You're no longer a slave," Qui-Gon explained, grinning openly now, as he glanced from mother to son. 

Anakin whirled back around to face his mother, where she continued to sit at her work station. "Did you hear that?" Ankain half shouted, half whispered. He could hardly believe it himself. 

Shmi smiled at her son, knowing that the time had come to say goodbye. "Now you can make your dreams come true, Annie. You're free." Those last words came out barely more than a whisper. Free. Her son was free. She now looked up at Qui-Gon. "Will you take him with you? Is he to become a Jedi?" 

Qui-Gon folded his arms in front of him. "Yes. Our meeting was not a coincidence. Nothing happens by accident." 

Anakin whirled back around, unbelieving. "You mean *I* get to go with *you* in your *starship*??" 

Qui-Gon smiled at his boyish enthusiasm as he knelt down at eye-level in front of the child. "Anakin," he said, voice becoming serious, "training to become a Jedi is not an easy challenge. And even if you succeed, it's a hard life." 

Anakin studied the Jedi's solemn face as he thought about Qui-Gon's words. "But I wanna go," he pleaded after a moment. "It's what I've always dreamed of doing." He turned around to face his mother. "Can I go, Mom?" 

Shmi stood up from her chair as she knelt down in front of her son. "Anakin, this path has been placed before you. The choice is yours alone." 

"I wanna do it," he told her. 

"Then pack your things," Qui-Gon said from behind. "We haven't much time." 

"Yippee!" Annie said cheerfully as he ran to his bedroom-- 

And stopped in his tracks when something suddenly occurred to him. "What about Mom?" he asked turning to face the two of them. "Is she free, too?" 

Qui-Gon hesitated as he glanced at Anakin's inquisitive face, and then at Shmi. She was happy for her son, but the hint of sadness in her eyes was unmistakable to a Jedi. "I tried to free your mother, Annie, but Watto wouldn't have it." 

Anakin glanced uncertainly between Qui-Gon and his mother before walking back to her. "You're coming with us, aren't you, Mom?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes as he stepped up to her. 

She gave a sad sigh as she looked into Anakin's pleading eyes. The last thing he needed was to worry about her. "Son, my place is here. My future is here." 

"I don't want things to change," Anakin admitted. 

"But you can't stop the change," she said softly, brushing the hair from his eyes, "anymore than you can stop the suns from setting." She pulled her son into a warm embrace, never wanting to let him go, but knowing it was inevitable. "I love you," she whispered, tightening her grip on him. 

After an eternity, she hesitantly pulled away from him. "Now, hurry," she said with a forced smile as she gave him a playful shove toward his room. This time, Anakin did not hesitate. 

She watched her son disappear into his room, knowing that he would soon be gone for good. 

"I'll watch out for him," Qui-Gon said from behind, reminding her of his presence. You have my word." Suddenly, she felt a strong hand close around her shoulder from behind. "Will you be all right?" 

She nodded slightly, glancing behind her shoulder to give him a reassuring smile as she placed her small hand atop his large one, enclosing it in her warmth. They stayed that way for several moments, until Qui-Gon pulled her around to face him. He searched her face imploringly, reaching into her mind for the truth. 

Shmi felt his mind there, tingling with a pleasant sensation. But she did not find his touch intruding. On the contrary, she found it strangely comforting. And in that touch, she knew that he was telling her the truth. He would take care of her son. 

"You're a very remarkable and generous woman, Shmi," he observed outwardly, as inwardly, he observed how beautiful he found her to be. She was tired, with lines of labor and worry formed on her face, but despite this, she was still beautiful. 

Before he realized what was happening, he brought his lips to hers in a soft but heart-felt kiss. In that kiss, she knew her son was safe with this man, and that he would make sure Anakin lived up to his full potential. In this simple but passionate kiss, he promised her all this and more. 

And then it was over. Qui-Gon pulled back, searching her face with his kindly blue eyes as his strong arms released her. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then, smiling softly. Reaching out, he squeezed her hand firmly, and she knew this was goodbye. 

And only minutes later, she said goodbye to her son as well. She watched as Anakin and Qui-Gon disappeared into the distance, and she did not move until she could no longer see any trace of them. And then they were gone, leaving her all alone. 

Finally, she disappeared back into her home, but it was empty. She cried then, like she had never let herself do in front of her son. But when it was over--when her tears had dried up--her heart was at ease at last. Her son was free. 

Her son would be a Jedi, like he always dreamed. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

All feedback welcome and wanted! 


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